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The first Christmas crackers were created by London confectioner Thomas Smith in 1847. He had spotted the design of French bon-bons wrapped in tissue paper on a trip to Paris and added a motto or simple love poem to the package, which by the 1930s were replaced by jokes.

It wouldn’t be Christmas without some bad jokes inside your crackers. Here are some of the best (or worst)…


Christmas cracker jokes

What did the dog get for Christmas?
A mobile bone

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?

Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales

What did Adam yell on the day before Christmas?
‘It’s Christmas Eve!’

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had low ‘elf’ esteem!

What do you call a blind reindeer?
No eye deer.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had no body to go with.

What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack.

Where does Father Christmas go to recover after Christmas?
An elf farm.

We’re always on the look out for bad cracker jokes so keep us informed of the woeful attempts at humour in your crackers this Christmas on twitter or Facebook.